I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
