His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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