I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
