There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
