Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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