He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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