Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
