You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
