Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
