He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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