There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
