I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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