windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
