She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
