barbara walters just said penis...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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