He is an equal opportunity slut.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
