is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
