I love black thongs
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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