are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
