this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize