Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
