he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
