You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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