Cold hands, warm shart.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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