White coat. Heels.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
