around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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