the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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