he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
