U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize