I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
