She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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