I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do vagina's smell?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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