Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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