Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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