is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
