Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
