You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
