Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
