your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
