So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
