We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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