Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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