i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
