I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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