I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
