the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
