Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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