I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
