Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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