The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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