I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize