Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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