I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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