dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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