Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Say something about gay babies.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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