fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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