just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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