Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
